My Memoirs
by Ballad of Lumen
Summary: Separation can only lead to memories. Memories can only lead to turmoil.
1. My first glance at your fair visage

My Memoirs

_It was here._ I thought to myself as I traced along the edges of a strange dent in the road. Had it all really happened so fast? No one had even bothered to patch it up, and yet no one cared of its significance. No one knew, really.

_I first met you here, didn't I?_ I smiled. Though the pain in my heart was unbearable, it was a happy memory. I could almost hear the voices as they played out the beginning of my eternal end…

_An acolyte stomped on through the bustling streets of Prontera, nursing a sore hand. "Slow down, Rain! Let me explain myself! It's not what you think, really!", a young swordsman called after her, barely able to keep up with her strides. "Honestly! I don't know what happened, but I didn't intend for that to happen! Please, slow down!"_

_The acolyte whirled around. "Didn't mean for that to happen? Save your excuses, I've heard enough of them already! You publicly humiliated me, and then you expect mercy! You're lucky I stopped myself from socking you even more!"_

_The swordsman grimaced. He had a large red welt on his face strangely in the shape of a hand._

"_But really, this isn't a very rational way to handle the situation! You barely know anybody as it is, so what harm could have really come out of the situation? I was just joking, Rain, please calm down!"_

"_Your jokes are starting to get on my nerves, Aalap! If you can't at least change your sense of humor into something even slightly less perverse, I might have to—"_

"_To what? Excuse me, ma'am, but you're stepping on my toes, and you are also threatening a close friend of mine. What could he have possibly done that would have awakened such a rage in you?"_

_Rain sized up the newcomer. He had a shock of white hair on his head, and wore rather large glasses. If it wasn't for his traditional sage garb or the rather large tome he was carrying, Rain would have shoved him out of the way. As it was, he was blocking her from exiting through the eastern gates._

"_Friend indeed? Your 'friend' here decided it would be funny if he took me to the most populated place in Prontera to loudly flirt and make rude comments about me. I personally don't find that a very funny joke."_

"_Hmm…you are an acolyte, no? Could I borrow your mace for a moment?" The sage gestured at the weapon in Rain's right hand._

"_My mace? Sure, but what exactly are you going to do with it?" _

"_Oh, just to rid of some of the filth in this city." The sage then took the mace and thumped it onto the swordsman's head, letting the mace dent the ground as it drooped off the bump on the swordsman's forehead. _

"_Thanks for the mace." The sage grinned, handing the mace back to a stunned Rain. He grabbed the neck of the swordsman's tunic and started to drag him away, when Rain stopped him._

"_Um, wait! I never caught your name." Rain blushed and looked at the now-dented path._

"_My name? Why, its Tavon. Any reason why you wanted to know it?" He cocked his head._

"_Um…well, are you free later today? Maybe we could…er…" _

_Tavon approached Rain. He gently tilted her head up, gazing into her embarrassed eyes. "Are you asking me out?" _

"_EH! I…uh…" Rain looked shocked, unable to regain her composure from his bluntness._

"_You are, aren't you? Would you care to meet me at the Inn at 9 tonight? I'll take you somewhere wonderful." Tavon smiled, then walked off with an unconscious swordsman._

_Rain stood there in a daze. She felt as if she herself had been thumped on the head with her mace. _He was awfully forward,_ she thought to herself,_ but perhaps he'll turn out to be alright.


	2. Captivated me like no other

I ran, faster than I had ever run before, exhausting my tired limbs. I was obsessed with keeping up with the memory, as if it would disappear unless I was there to watch it. I stumbled over rocks and stumps, struggling through the undergrowth until I tumbled at the mouth of a cave.

I shook my head and stared at it, slowly tuning myself to the sights and sounds I could only barely grasp from so long ago…

"_Tavon, have we reached this mystical place yet? It has been a long walk, and it's rather frustrating to walk around with your eyes closed." Rain bumped into a tree._

"_Come on now, its just a bit farther. And I'm sure you'll like it." Tavon took Rain's hand, guiding her towards the entrance of an inconspicuous cave. "Alright, Rain. You can open your eyes."_

_Rain gasped. It was, frankly, the strangest place she had ever been in, which was saying a lot as Rune Migard was quite the exotic kingdom. Admittedly, she had snuck a peek and noted that they were entering a cave. However, the landscape she was viewing now looked absolutely nothing like a cave. There were clusters of willows, bending and twisting this way and that to cast ethereal shadows on the mossy floor. And instead of the usual swarms of cave bats, forest monsters inhabited the place. In every room they traveled through, there was a different species of a forest-dwelling monster. Some Rain had never even seen before. _

"_How did you discover this place? And for that matter, where are we?"_

"_Why, we're in the Hidden Temple of course! This place used to be a very sacred temple where travelers could pay their respects to the Gods. Of course, ever since monsters have started to inhabit Rune Migard, this temple has been their sort of hideaway. I used to battle monsters here back when I was a simple magician. Not many people know about this place, so you must keep it secret, alright?" He pressed his finger to Rain's lips._

_Rain slowly turned towards Tavon, a look of awe still etched onto her face. She was struck speechless by the beauty of this mysterious place._

"_Now, now, I know what you're thinking and you don't have to tell me. I would be more than happy to help you complete your training as an acolyte. We can even start now if you wish."_

_Rain nodded, and followed Tavon into the strange realms the temple held…_

I clutched my staff as I wandered through the temples rooms, looking at the luster that seemed to emanate from the ancient willows. _This place once held so much magic for me…but ever since…_ I stopped. I couldn't continue that thought; it seemed impossible that…that he had really gone. Tears streamed down my face, which only added to the accommodating filth on me.

My knees buckled, and I grasped my shoulders as I wept, not even noticing when someone else entered the room. I looked up, hoping to see that familiar smile that I longed for. What I saw truly surprised me.

It was Aalap, that swordsman from so long ago. He bent down, looking into my eyes. "My God…that can't be Rain, can it?" I nodded weakly as he pulled me into his warm embrace, as I sobbed onto his shoulder plate.

"It really has been a while since he's left, hasn't it? Or it seems like it, at least…" though he tried, his comforting couldn't pacify my tears. "Shh, shh…crying like this won't bring him back, Rain. He left happy, and that's what truly matters…you can't be so cruel to yourself over what he's done, else you'll destroy yourself!"

"At this point, Aalap, I could hardly care less whether I live or die."

"Don't start talking like that! I'm going to bring you someplace warm, okay? You rest up there and think reasonably on what you want to do with your life now, alright? I'm worried about you, Rain." He truly looked concerned. "And, don't forget that I still love you…I always have, and I am happy to protect you until you can be strong enough to protect yourself." He picked up my limp body, and as he started to head out of the cave and back to Prontera, I slept.


	3. With your piercing gaze

_Without you, the ground thaws, the rain falls, the grass grows.  
Without you, the seeds root, the flowers bloom, the children play.  
The stars gleam, the poets dream, the eagles fly, without you.  
The earth turns, the sun burns,_

_But I die, without you._

-Rent

_Fog circled around Tavon and Rain as they trenched up the muddy slopes of Mt. Mjolner. Though they had certainly traveled here many times, Rain was certain that she had never been this high up before. Tavon had always warned her about traveling too high up the mountain alone, as powerful monsters lurked in the shaded areas around the path. _Perhaps_, she wondered,_ he thinks I'm finally strong enough if we encountered danger.

_Tavon finally stopped hiking, pulling Rain up to a protruding ledge on the mountain. "Look, Rain. Isn't it breathtaking?", he gestured at the view. Rain nodded. It was beautiful, but Rain couldn't focus. A question she had been meaning to ask for quite some time was slowly forming on it's own accord inside her mouth. _

_Tavon continued, "I discovered this place long before I met you. After I had been pronounced a sage, I decided to explore the heights of Mt. Mjolner. When I first saw how glorious Rune Migard looked from such a height, I knew I had found a real treasure. I often came here to meditate or practice new abilities I had been mastering, and had never shown it to anyone. However, since you have finally been christened a priest, I felt you were worthy of sharing this place with me." He smiled. _

_Rain turned towards him. Her palms were sweating terribly, and she felt her cheeks get hot. _I better get this over with now, before I blush so bad I look like a tomato. _She gulped, "Tavon, I…well, there's been something I've been meaning to ask you. Um…will you…will you hear me out?"_

"_Of course, Rain. Why wouldn't I hear you out?" Tavon smiled again. _

_Rain swallowed again and continued, "Tavon…this isn't an easy thing to ask, and I fully understand if you refuse, but please, please don't hate me for it." She trembled and looked at the ground._

"_What is it? I can't resent you until you ask, and I only will if it's something truly terrible. I couldn't' resent you, Rain." Tavon brushed Rain's cheek, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear._

"_I…I mean you…Tavon…Tavon, will you marry me?", the last words came out in a rushed garble, and by this time Rain was so embarrassed she did a face-plant into the ledge. _

"_Will I…marry you? That's a rather large question to ask, Rain. Though it feels like it's been much longer, I only have really known you for 2 months. Don't you feel like you're rushing into this a little too fast?"_

_Rain shook her head. "No, Tavon, I don't feel like I'm rushing anything at all. You've been so dear to me…I couldn't think of anything more wonderful than if—" _

_Tavon put a hand over Rain's mouth and drew her into an embrace. "If you feel you're ready for that large of a commitment, then I'm more than ready." He stroked her hair. Rain started to cry on his shoulder. _

_The wedding was simple, held by a local priest at the Prontera church. Not many people attended, yet it felt to Rain that she was partaking in one of the most magnificent weddings ever to be held. She turned and smiled at Tavon. _

"…_and Tavon, do you promise to take Rain as your beloved wife, love and care for her always, in both sickness and in health, and to remain with her until her dying day?" The priest droned onto Tavon's vows._

"_Yes, I promise to be her loving husband, to catch her when she falls, and never to stray from the journey we set out on today." He grinned at Rain._

"_Very well then. Assuming there will be no objections, I formally pronounce you husband and wife. Congratulations." The priest closed his Book and started to head down the aisle._

_Tavon laughed and swooped her up into a jubilant kiss. Rain would come to remember this moment as the happiest one in her life…_

I awoke, covered in rough sheets that were emblazoned with the local Inn's crest. It had begun to pour while I rested. I listened to the strong, steady rhythm of the rain's pounding.

"…_to catch her when she falls…"_

I lept from the bed, pacing back and forth as the memory slowly swirled around my thoughts…

"…_to catch her when she falls…"_

I thrust the door open and dashed down the stairs, practically hurtling myself out beyond the Inn's welcoming atmosphere. I started to run, as far as I could into the rainy night, so long as I could get away from the memories.

"_...to catch her when she falls…"_

I ran faster, trying to shield my eyes against the pelting rain.

"…_to catch her…"_

I screamed as loud as I could, trying to use puddles of rain water to wash away the memory. I pressed the raindrops against my face, letting them run down my cheeks. I curled up into a ball and wept on the streets, a dirty mess and a shadow of the priest I used to be.

"I'M FALLING!", I shouted, "I'M FALLING! WHERE ARE YOU, YOU PHONY! YOU SAID YOU'D CATCH ME! I'M FALLING! WHERE ARE YOU TO CATCH ME!"

"_...when she falls." _


	4. That would never see my light again

_Silently, into the night I go,_

_Into the starry night, of heavenly blue_

_What matters, where the road may lead?_

_If I may come again at last, to you._

_-Into the night_

I lifted my head, peering through my swollen eyes towards a hazy silhouette in the rain. A beautiful sound, muffled by the rain, slowly carried its way to my ears…

Come, all forsaken, and morn you with me

Who speaks of false love? Mine's falser than she

Let love no more possess in bower or close,

It comes to bud, but soon it withers and fades,

Ere it be a Rose.

Thou fair and false, I die with thy wound.

For thou has lost the truest love, that goes upon the ground

She false was born to be and I, to die for love

Write on my tomb, this my farewell

In love I was true.

_Tavon?... _a familiar male voice circled its way closer to me on the breath of the wind. _This song…this song was performed in memoriam during the first funeral I had ever performed…_I rose, craning my head to look at the night sky. I could almost see the cock of a head that I so longed to see again.

I smiled. _This must be a way of him letting me know its alright…he's okay._ The smile spread, until I was almost shaking with laughter. Laughter that had not uttered my lips for years.

_This is Tavon's way of telling me its alright…my time has come to, its just taken me too long to realize it._ I drew a small dagger from its pouch…

"I have searched everywhere for you, my dear, all throughout the kingdom! I had never even bothered to consider that one of such compassion as you could pass on. You're tune has given me the strength to accept this, and I humbly wish that I may finally find wherever you have gone!" I cried out as my dagger struck me, and fell at peace onto the cobblestones.

A young man walked up to the emotionless priest, shaking his head. "Dear me, this won't do at all…", he grimaced, shaking the wet mop of white hair out of his eyes. "She seems familiar, yet…", he pushed his glasses closer to his eyes, staring at the resting priestess.

"What are you looking at there, Tavon my boy?" A portly gentleman appeared at the young man's side. "Whooee, look at that one! Shame she had to die so young, eh?" He turned to Tavon.

"She…I don't know, sir, she looks exactly like the woman who's been haunting my dreams…I can't put my finger on it, but I must have known her at a point in time…" Tavon struggled inwardly as he continued to stare. "If only…if only I hadn't lost my memory…I might be able to tell who she was…"

"Well, she must've not been too important if you can't remember who she was. Leave her be, Tavon, we've still got a lot of work to do." The gentleman helped a reluctant Tavon back up, and silhouetted once more against the rain, they left.

Meanwhile, a cold girl lay resting on the cobblestone in a sea of red, her face an eternal smile as she hoped to be reunited with a memory once again.

_Fin_


End file.
